can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
