So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Small penises have feelings too.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
