He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
