i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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