I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
