he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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