i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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