oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
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i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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