dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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