Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
