Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize