im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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