i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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