i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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