She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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