I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize