Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
