The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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