last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
