He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
