Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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