Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
