I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
