I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Randomize
