I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
