If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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