omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Randomize