Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I would fuck him just for his dog
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
