I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
