Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
