Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
