Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
