I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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