I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
