ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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