i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
