awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
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I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
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He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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