Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I didn't notice because vodka
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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