Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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