lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
