Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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