Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
