How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
