idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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