Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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