Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
