I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
