i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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