I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
