Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
