just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
