Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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