Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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