He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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