id be glad to
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
