i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
