think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
