I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
