He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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