i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Randomize
